| First dates can be stressful. What do I wear, | | | | Communicate. Dating is not just about him. This is |
| what will I say, how will he be, etc. Turn this | | | | about you and your pleasure. I'm not going to be |
| drama into fun "empowered dating." Whatever | | | | "Miss Anyone" for this lonely guy. I want respect, |
| you do before the date, dress, work out, do this | | | | fun, play, laughter. I don't want to hang out with a |
| for you, not him. Feel fabulous about you. Keep | | | | guy who's going to be a downer all the time. I'm |
| this thought in your mind: Is he worthy of the | | | | going to communicate this to him, see his |
| hotness that is you? Does he treat you like a | | | | reaction, and see if he produces by his actions. If |
| lady? Does he say things to you that raise a little | | | | not...I'll move on to another prospect, and not |
| red flag? If he says something you don't like, tell | | | | think about it one more minute. Unless it helps |
| him. Order whatever you want. Thank him for a | | | | you, gorgeous!) |
| lovely evening. Below is an example of a recent | | | | "A" wants to know what I'm doing this weekend. |
| date. It addresses the above issues. I have | | | | I'm booked. I don't divulge too much information. I |
| included tips in italics that help you effortlessly | | | | tell him that on Friday night I'm watching my |
| steer the wheel in dating. You're in the drivers' | | | | favorite TV show. He can't believe I would rather |
| seat ladies! So let's start driving the car. | | | | sit home and watch TV than go on a date with |
| Last night I met "A" at a lovely tavern that | | | | him. (Lesson #6: Don't give your stuff up for a |
| features live music. We sit and I'm hungry. I'd like | | | | man...it's your stuff!) It's time to go. I know he's |
| to share something. Sharing is fun. | | | | going to ask me out again. |
| Me: Would you like to split something? | | | | A: Would you like to go out again? |
| A: Sure, whatever you'd like. | | | | Me: Maybe...(with a smile) |
| Me: How about the cheese tray. | | | | A: Oh...man... |
| His expression was priceless. Not a cheese tray | | | | Me: I didn't say no... |
| guy. (Lesson #1: Order exactly what you want. | | | | A: That's true... |
| Not what you think you should be ordering on a | | | | Me: Listen...I have a request. |
| date) He says sure to the cheese tray. Good, | | | | A: Okay. |
| witty conversation. He's interested in every | | | | Me: If I go out with you again, I want to play |
| aspect of my life. We get to him. He talks a bit, | | | | more. You went on quite a tangent on how you |
| but it becomes very clear that he's lonely. | | | | want anyone to spend time with. I'm not going to |
| A: I just want to meet someone, anyone to | | | | settle for being "any" girl. It's like me saying to |
| spend time with. (Lesson #2: This is a red flag. Do | | | | you on the first date: My biological clock is ticking. |
| you want to be Miss Anyone?) | | | | How can we get this moving so A B and C can |
| Me: (I smile warmly...remember to play) and say | | | | occur as soon as possible? That would turn you |
| "We'll that's flattering!" | | | | off wouldn't it? Do you understand what I'm |
| A: No no, that's not what I meant. (Lesson #3: | | | | saying to you? |
| Yes it is. He was caught and back pedaled in a | | | | A: Yes...I'm sorry I didn't mean to be such a |
| way that said "Gotcha!" to me) | | | | downer. |
| I let this go...for now. | | | | (Lesson #7: Do not let something that turns you |
| More conversation about how lonely and hard it is | | | | off go. Communicate clearly and unemotionally. ) |
| to be single. I tell him that people should focus on | | | | Cut the man some slack. He could have made an |
| the good in their lives. A lot of single people look | | | | honest mistake due to nerves. He listened to |
| at the coupled people and want that. Then they | | | | what I had to say. He followed up on it first thing |
| pick someone "just to be in a relationship" and a | | | | this morning in an email: |
| lot are miserable and settling. The married people | | | | Hi Sharon, |
| yearn for the freedom of the single people. If | | | | It was a pleasure sharing your passion and energy |
| we're constantly looking for the good in our lives, | | | | last night. It would be nice to play together again. |
| we're focused on good and not "the what ifs" "if | | | | Except Friday at 10PM. Enjoy the Sci-Fi... |
| onlys" and "I so wish I had this." (Lesson #4: | | | | Best Wishes, |
| Express your opinion. Even if it's something he | | | | "A" |
| may not agree with) | | | | Does driving the car sound fun to you ladies? |
| He agrees but continues his lonely tangent. I'm | | | | Women have so much power over men. They |
| understanding. I encounter so much loneliness | | | | don't realize the fun they could be having. Loving |
| everyday. That's why I want to bring back | | | | yourself, knowing exactly what you want and |
| laughter, fun and play into our lives. (Lesson #5: | | | | clear communication are keys a fantastic love life. |