| The light turns green, as it usually does...and as | | | | like mine, home will always be heaven. I smile as I |
| they usually do, the drivers in the cars in front of | | | | pull into my space. I know from many of nights |
| me accelerate with the vigor of a two-legged | | | | spent partying and walking that my front door is |
| turtle with blisters. Normally, breathing deep, | | | | only 27 steps away and my couch is only 8 more. |
| staring off into to space, and zoning out to my | | | | I feel like I am almost effortlessly floating |
| latest never-illegally-downloaded-super-jammin' mix | | | | towards my door. Home at last! |
| CD keeps me sane. But today is different. | | | | Unlocking the door with my key, I turn the knob, |
| Today...was maid day at my apartment. That's | | | | and slowly open the door. The door shuts behind |
| right, maid day. And for the past four weeks, my | | | | me as my mouth drops from what I see. "Dude, |
| place had looked like a combo of the aftermath | | | | the maid didn't come. Must be sick or something," |
| of the craziest rock concert known to man, and | | | | my roommate muttered from the couch, |
| the remnants of laundry day gone very, very | | | | sprawled out, half asleep, and watching soap |
| bad. | | | | operas on my 42" television. |
| In my defense, I have a somewhat filthy | | | | Part of me wanted to scream, part of me |
| roommate who regularly assembles a small army | | | | wanted to pray, part of me wanted to strangle |
| of friends who tend to leave pizza boxes and/or | | | | my roommate as the terrible feeling of a long |
| their pet dirt behind when they finally leave. Day | | | | crappy day replaced the heavenly feeling of |
| to day, these occurrences add up, and so does | | | | coming home to a clean roommate free house. |
| the mess. Personally, I never notice the odor, but | | | | But all I could do was stand there disappointed for |
| a few new guests have pointed out an arrant | | | | a moment and reflect. "You didn't call the office?," |
| smell of aged cheese. Sure I could clean up after | | | | I quietly asked. |
| them, but honestly, why should I? My rent | | | | "Naw man, they don't like me up there. I'm not on |
| includes once-a-month maid service! | | | | the lease. Plus I'm not on the lease," he said as he |
| In my eyes, the maid will appreciate the challenge. | | | | scratched his backside. |
| And when she's done, she'll leave with a sense of | | | | "That's just wonderful." |
| accomplishment; a feeling of really having done | | | | "I cleaned up a little, bro. I took out the trash that |
| something good for herself and her community. | | | | was on the porch." |
| Plus, my mother always taught me that I should | | | | Kicking a pizza box towards the couch, I made |
| always clean up after myself, which in turn, by | | | | my way to my room with my head slowly |
| rule, makes it wrong to clean up after someone | | | | shaking. I calmly opened the door, stepped into |
| else... | | | | my room, and shut the door behind me. Suddenly, |
| Back in the car, the light is hanging on to the last | | | | a smile crept up on my face as I remembered |
| leg of greenness and I JUST WANT TO GET | | | | how clean and fresh my room was and |
| HOME!!! The light turns red. The longer I sit in this | | | | completely isolated from Slobby McRoommate. No |
| over-heating mass of engines, metal, and fumes, | | | | trash, no dirt, clean sheets, and my older yet still |
| the more I fall deeper and deeper in love with my | | | | a good size and in great working condition TV. It's |
| wonderful, large, fairly priced, apartment.....with | | | | not a flat screen, but it will do. The woes of my |
| maid service. | | | | day began to disappear and the goodness made |
| Finally, I pull through the pearly gates of my | | | | its way back in. I plopped down on my futon, |
| apartments. I swear the place had never looked | | | | clutching a pillow in one hand and laying back. A |
| so beautiful. I mean it's an incredible property, but | | | | long sigh of relief overcame me. As I stared at |
| I could almost hear the angels singing as I drove | | | | the spinning ceiling fan an even more wonderful |
| the posted 17 mph past the lush landscaping, | | | | thought hit me...my lease was up and I could find |
| sparkling pool, and beautiful courtyard. After a day | | | | my own place! |