What Would They Want? Part I - Creating a Meaningful Tribute

Elizabeth hung up and left the receiver off theto play with the kids at the community center
hook. She was alone and wanted, needed, towhere he volunteered one day a week. He loved
keep the quiet around her if only for a few hours.gourmet cheese and fine wine. Almost all his shirts
As she began her ascent to the bedroom they'dwere red because he thought that was the best
shared for seven years, the tears began to fall.looking color on his skin. There were so many
She knew decisions had to be made, but wherethings about him that needed celebrating, Liz
to start? How do you tell someone's story aftercouldn't think of anything but creating a meaningful
they're gone?service by reviving his loves just one more time.
As she filled the tub she thought about herThis has been or could be you. Death comes
experiences. She'd been to funerals, but only as asuddenly. We are never truly prepared for its
well wisher. She'd never been involved witharrival or the emotions that accompany it.
planning. Many times she thought how unfitting theBecause of that, many people pass away without
service had been. They never seemed to matchgiving a second thought to what their funeral
the deceased. She turned toward the bedroomservice or memorial celebration will entail, leaving
and began to undress, this time, it was her turn.family and friends to decide. Here are some things
She could see how easy it would be to go withto consider when creating a memorable and
the norm and move on. Would he have wantedmeaningful service for a loved one:
that? They'd spoken about it, but for some1) What hobby did they love?
reason, nothing came to her as she undressed.2) What flowers did they love? Maybe they didn't
She slipped into the tub and closed her eyes. Thehave a favorite flower, but a particular flower
faucet to her tears seemed to have a mind of itsalways brought back a happy memory.
own. The thoughts meandered through as the3) Had they traveled? What place did they travel
tears flowed. He's gone. He's not coming home?to the most, or couldn't stop talking about when
He's left you. Who cares about the service? Theythey returned?
didn't love him; they just want to see how I'm4) Did they love their work?
doing so they can feel sorry for me. I'm not5) Did they have a special place to think?
having a service for that.6) Did they have a great sense of humor?
As she got out of the tub and moved toward the7) What was their favorite movie?
bed, she noticed a pair of his running shorts on8) What food did they love?
the floor. Did he leave them there this morning?9) What sport did they love?
Had he gone running? No, because she found him10) Where did their passions lie?
in the basement in his pajamas. Before moreAll these questions and more can get you started
thoughts could take hold she quickly threw theon creating an unforgettable service for a loved
shorts into the hamper. It was all the running thatone. As time passes the service will be
killed him.remembered as a good time hosted by the loved
The banging on the door woke her from sleepone in honor of their guests.
she thought would never come the night before.Gone are the days when everyone is eulogized
As she opened the door arms surrounded herthe same way. Everyone has a story to tell and
and wetness fell on her shoulder. It was herbe told. If it is your task to tell that story without
sister-in-law. They went inside.the starring member, remember, you have all the
The coffee lacked taste and the pie was bland.information you need in your memory banks. Tap
Nothing seemed right. As they talked, Liz beganthem and create.
to visualize what she couldn't see the night before.Elizabeth's story will continue in part II. We'll see
He loved hiking the mountain behind their home, ithow she decides to memorialize her husband and
was the reason they bought this house. He lovedget tips of our own from her actions.